Repulsion (1965)

I wonder what it was, or when it was that my consciousness regarding the topic of s settled in. I can't recall what it was that prompted me to read Andrea for the
first time, and right now I question if I was happier in ignorance. 

I can't deny anything now which is what I hate, I so wish and pray that I could just say, No, it's a joke. Half the population doesn't hate you. No, they don't like
you better because you're young, because you are childish. 

somehow, everything is just so much more obvious now. In every interaction no matter how small, I see it. 

Their jokes, everything. I wish I could be as upset, I wish I was a worse human being, maybe I'd be happier. Happier if I could laugh it off and blame the women for
being desperate for attention, That's just why. 




I wonder why I can't, I wonder what it'd take for me to get over it and myself. 

No, don't be anxious, don't shake your head to yourself and instead say something. 

I'm sorry I won't get to experience love, maybe I should lament that. 

I wish I didn't like this movie, I wish it didn't make me feel so represented. 

I wish it wasn't a man who made it.




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